Happy Anniversary

 

Deserve

Knowing that I am a sinner and do not deserve any of God’s kindnesses is the first step in following Him, pleasing Him, understanding His great love for me and all mankind, thanking Jesus for His sacrifice, and living a thankful life.

Claiming all the promises of God before confessing my weaknesses and sins is jumping a step and leads to pride.

Every time.

Today I think about all the kindnesses God has blessed me with in my marriage. Thirty-eight years of blessings.

Some came unexpectedly. Some came after years of hard work. Some came after a period of trouble or struggle or loss or tragedy. I deserved none of them. I earned none of them. God blessed.

Period.

I used to think if I did this or that long enough, I would earn the goal I had created in my mind. After years of frustration and disappointment, heartache, and failure, I came to learn that life with Jesus doesn’t work that way.

Every day I approach God and ask Him what He wants me to do. Usually it is the work before me, but sometimes it is quiet time praying for others or a visit to someone or meeting someone for a conversation or just to listen.

Life is simple this way.

No more lists of things I have created for myself to do to achieve a certain goal I think I should meet. (Most of the goals were placed in my brain by others anyway.) No more striving, keeping track of every hour, checking off yet another expectation I (or someone else) created for myself.

Minute by minute I move quietly, sometimes slowly, through my day. When a job is completed, I stand by the window and ask Jesus, “what’s next?” Or I sit and crochet while praying for my family. Or I go outside and walk the gardens (which sounds really high-class, fancy, but it‘s not).

God gave me life. Thank You, God. God gave me abilities that were encouraged by parents, teachers and pastors. Thank You, God. Opportunities were placed in front of me, some I accepted, some I rejected, all were from the hand of God.

God placed my husband in my life to heal me, to “save” me, to give me hope, to give me unconditional love, and finally to give me stability, safety, space to become myself and create, a quiet home, a quiet life (with just enough chaos), children and grand-children, and a hope for more shared days to come. Gently God has shown me my weaknesses and my sins. I confessed. He forgave.

God helped me find my quiet Bible time with Him. Thank You, God.

I have grown so much since those first days of marriage. God has given me all these blessings through my husband. Thank You, God.

This is how I have learned to live a grateful life: one day at a time, one opportunity at a time, one decision at a time, with Jesus saving me and my humble attempts at living for Him.

Okay, God, this thought is written. What’s next?

want to read more from five minute friday? 

https://fiveminutefriday.com/2021/07/01/fmf-writing-prompt-link-up-deserve/