Fail

Tumisu - pixabay

I feel like I just failed a test. You know, that humiliating, face heating, stomach dropping, in-the-dog-house feeling that cannot be ignored or drowned out.

I failed someone. I broke a promise.

Again.

 

I fail every day. I used to ignore my failures. If I was caught or brought to task, I would either deny my failure or blame someone else.

I matured enough to own-up to many of my failures, but there were still people who were telling me how good I was, it was a mixed message creating confusion.

But the world will do that. I fail, but it’s okay. I’m only human.

I can always find someone to tell me it’s okay, I’ll be fine, things will get better, I’m okay just the way I am.

Not God.

He wants me to own up to my failures. Not to torment me or shame me, but to invite me to work with Him.

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"Search my heart, make me more like You, Jesus.

"Search my mind, make me more like You, Jesus.

"Create in me, a pure heart. Create in me, a pure mind.

"Let my life reflect the Son." (song by Matt Howe)

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I want to admit ALL my failures, even the tiny ones. Especially the tiny ones. Especially the ones no one else sees.

I admit them to God, ask Him to wash them away, ask Him to give me strength, and apologize to the one I failed if appropriate or necessary. Then I ask God to alert me to JUST BEFORE I am about to do it again so I can stop.

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Ask God to show me.

Admit it and repent to Him.

Accept His forgiveness and in thankfulness go on.

Living in thankfulness instead of the memories of past failures.