Concrete

 

We’ve been buying a lot of Quikrete lately. My husband is finishing up the front walkway. We’re hoping it makes shoveling easier this winter. We’re looking forward to an easier walk up to the house.

We had pavers that were starting to crack and sink. It was a cute, country type look, but little by little the walkway became more like a valley. That made it difficult to maneuver when carrying groceries and awkward loads.

Because funds are tight, we are doing the job a little at a time. It’s frustrating and hopeful at the same time.

I feel like my faith is a little like that walkway. Cute and country to begin with, but not solid enough for the heavy load of testing, temptation, loss, trouble.

When I read my Bible every day, spend time in prayer, remember to worship in good times and when I don’t feel like it (especially when I don’t feel like it), I build on my solid faith. God gave me faith when I put my trust in Jesus, but I’m responsible to maintain it and use it.

The walkway has been in the work for a few years, moving down to the driveway a little bit at a time.

My faith is getting solid beneath me as I move toward my home

A little at a time.

 

1 Peter 1:5-8 – Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Concrete – 10-24-22 – 31 Days of Writing About Writing

photo info - me

Testimony

 

 

I am going to give you my testimony, or at least part of it. My testimony is a series of refreshings, recommittings, refocusings.

I was raised Christian, but also raised in a classic household. I was trained to speak clearly, play the piano, have fun when the work was done and believe that I would achieve greatness.

Events in my life stand out – most of them because of some negative emotion like shame, fear, terror, anger, betrayal, pain, failure.

I don’t need to share these unless it is directly related to my testimony. This is a skeleton of a memoir.

At seven years old I was embarrassed by an adult. No physical harm came to me, but the event stands out as a curse in my mind. I was a thing to be loved through no fault of my own and a husband was already chosen for me (I thought in my seven-year-old brain). I spent most of the rest of my life working, immaturely, against that curse to the hurt of everyone around me.

But Jesus was with me. I prayed to Him all the time. He protected me.

When I was 12, I promised to follow Jesus for the rest of my life, even if I must give up my life for Him. I spoke it out in public as loud as I could muster. I was stunned when my confirmation mates were not as assured as I was – the beginning of faith-pride.

I was good at school. I did sports. I took advanced classes. I pleased everyone. I took failure very hard. I met people who had a closer relationship to Jesus than I did, and it scared me. I tried to take up the challenge to be as good, if not better, than they, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t understand then that faith-pride is not faith and there can be no competition in following Jesus.

I lived a double life. I tested life and all the things there were to do while holding on to Jesus and saying all the right things.

But Jesus protected me.

I graduated from the right college, worked as a teacher just as I was expected to, had a horrible year (my year in hell) where I got hit with severe anxiety, got severely disciplined on behaviors that were not as they should be given my position and finally gave up. I quit almost all the expectations but one which I clung to.

I got married and found great freedom. My husband was very forgiving and didn’t judge me for being horrible at housekeeping (cooking, paying bills, cleaning, etc.) This was a blessed environment where I could explore things I hadn’t had time for and spread my crazy creations all over the house.

We moved residences with the birth of each child for various reasons and through this chaotic craziness I learned to depend on Jesus for my every day. He blessed me with calm.

But the competitive Christian part of me, that expectation to be perfect, that faith-pride continued to follow me and, I’m sorry to say, I passed it on to my children.

But Jesus protected us.

Over the years I gave up the expectations of my youth. God showed me how I raised my children was different from the world around me because my children were unique. God showed me there were other ways to learn about Him, ways I could explore on my own without the permission of someone in charge.

Through a long series of unfortunate events I left the church we were attending and found a new, non-denominational, Spirit-led church. I was not allowed to serve there. This was humiliating. I was angry. I poured myself into the job I had outside the home. Then I poured myself into two jobs. My marriage and my family and life were completely out of whack.

But Jesus protected us.

I was sick, but functional. I quit my full-time job. Then I quit my part time job. I started healing.

Then my life exploded. But God blessed me with a counselor, a lady who trained me in prayer war.

At that time most of my children were out of the house. One of our daughters suggested a new church and we attended the Saturday night services. We did double for a while, attending my daughter’s church on Saturdays and going to the church where I could not serve on Sundays.

Soon I desperately needed the Saturday services to survive the Sunday services. Something wasn’t right. The explosion was over, and things were back to normal, or so I thought.

The explosion had subsided in our lives, but not in the lives of those who caused the explosion. Confusion, hurt, and lies swirled around me.

Then we got kicked out of our Sunday church.

But Jesus protected us.

And there was peace.

At our new church I was given permission to heal. There were no guilt trips to give or to serve or to act the right way. In fact, all around me were believers who had gone through similar circumstances. I had found the hospital I needed.

Thank you, Jesus, I was home.

I attended church sometimes twice each week. I joined classes. I tried activities. And over and over again I was humbled, gently, lovingly, just like God deals with us. This was a unique church, Spirit-filled, accepting, respecting me for where I had come, honoring my desire to let God tell me my next steps, my next calling, my next job.

Then I got baptized (Matthew 3:13-4:1). I was the oldest one that day and no one cared. No one judged. Just respect, honor, and love … and understanding about the road ahead. Jesus had told me I would be led into the wilderness, and I was. A series of events and disappointments followed. I tracked the days in my baptism journal. I knew it was a special training. God showed me the sins of my past and how He had healed each one. He showed me sins I had committed years ago that needed repentance, and I did. It was 40 days of Holy Spirit School.

 

Jesus gave me peace.

I continue to try things and fail. I also try things and succeed. I got sick again and am healing.

I’m on the journey of being healed of my faith-pride. It’s like I’m a new believer learning to walk.

This time I know I’m weak and it’s okay. I’m walking in the power of Jesus.

 

Testimony – 10-21-22 – 31 Days of Writing About Writing

Comfort

I find comfort in –  

 

My morning coffee

There’s something comforting about a morning cup of coffee. It tastes better than any other cup of coffee of the day. I take my time and enjoy the moments before it grows cold, before I must leave the house, before the responsibilities of the day pull me away from that comfort.

 

My notebooks

I love coming to my desk and opening my journaling notebook or my Bible study notebook. I know what’s there and I know there are words inside me to fill the pages. It’s just me and my notebook. No one here to judge me.

 

A well-running car

After many break-downs of many cars that were faithful and were trying to be faithful, driving a car with no problems is a comfort … no … a luxury.

 

A pillow

My son didn’t have a favorite blanket when he was little. He had a pillow. It went with him everywhere. Fortunately, it was washable. I love my pillow too.

 

A blanket

Several of my children claimed a favorite blanket, a security while traveling in the van, a necessity at bedtime. They were well-worn and washed often. Recently, I found some worn, white blankets like the ones they layered on me at the hospital. I bought three.

 

A chair

I had a favorite chair that fit me well. I used it for years and loved its comfort. A mouse crawled up inside of it and died. The odor would not be removed. Now I have a new favorite chair that fits me well. It is a comfort to ease into it after being on my feet for a long time.

 

A bed after a long trip

The four-day trip from my mother’s home was difficult. There were long drives and few breaks. There was just enough room for me and my fellow travelers to nap in the comfortable truck, but beds are preferable. Hotel beds are sometimes nice, but we were pushing to make it home. The last leg of the trip we drove through without stopping for the night. After everyone was dropped off, only the essentials were unloaded from the truck before I was reunited with my bed. That feeling of finally relaxing, letting the rest of the world wait, sinking into the mattress and closing my eyes. I love my bed after a long trip.

 

The comfort of a good friend

She listened to me and didn’t interrupt. She didn’t judge or reword my sentences. She asked me questions and helped me clarify my issues. She suggested things to try, ways to pray, boundaries to set, practices to begin, journaling to practice, passages to read. She comforted me and strengthened me. She showed me how to gather that same comfort from God.

 

The comfort of the gospel

The gospel is simple and highly complex, a child can understand and a mystery to many. Jesus came and lived the life we should have lived, loved us even when we were unlovable, sacrificed His needs and finally His life. He rose from the dead, conquering all sin and even death. He showed us how it’s supposed to be done. He told us we can do the same, but only in His strength. Getting strength from Him is a daily practice He Himself teaches me. Let go, He says, I’ll tell you what to do next. Don’t worry about anything. I’ll be there. I’ll guide you through.

He teaches me how to follow the law like He did. He teaches me how to love the unlovable, the smelly, the sandpaper people, the ugly, the hateful, the annoying, the forever-victims. He warns me when things are approaching that I shouldn’t get involved in. He tells me when to walk away. He gives me strength to do the jobs He gives me. He gently guides me through my day. He listens when I worry. He gives me courage when I am afraid. He comforts me when I am mourning. He will show me how to die when the time comes. And He himself will raise me at the end of time. Jesus comforts me.

 

The comfort of heaven

Things get bad down here on earth sometimes. When it’s overwhelming, I think about heaven. I don’t know much about what it will be like, but after a life walking with Jesus I trust His good judgement. I will have everything I need (like I do now), I will see friends and rejoice (like I do now), and I will praise Him with the saints (like I do now) – except it will be without pain, mourning, tears, limitations, and sin.

 

What a comfort!

Comfort – 10-15-22 – 31 Days of Writing about Writing

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Crave

 

 

I crave Writing by myself in the truck parked in the lot at the local park with the windows open listening to the breeze and the bird song.

 

I crave writing better, clearer, with more ease. I crave knowing more about what I have to do to get people to understand what I’m trying to say. I crave writing with more emotion, the kind that the reader can feel, not just me.

 

I crave writing at the local coffee shop and someone coming up to me and asking what I’m working on while buying my latest book as they ask me to sign it.

 

I crave a writing retreat by myself in some room or cabin someplace with at least three projects to work on.

 

I crave feeling relief from the ugly drive inside me that needs to get things done, the perfectionist, the workaholic, the overachiever.

 

I crave a group of friends that understand me and don’t mind if I disappear for months and forgive me for disappearing when I return.

 

I crave time with people who have died.

 

I crave that special spark that happens when a project I’ve written hits someone in a special way and blesses them.

 

I crave morning coffee, that special moment when the first few sips taste exquisite and my body and brain wake up and the possibilities of the day lay before me.

 

I crave relaxing after a day of hard work with my feet up and a crochet project in my hands watching a fun show on television with my husband and talking about the day.

 

I crave a burger and fries.

 

I crave fried chicken, crispy, with all the extras.

 

I crave more time in God’s Word, the pure milk of the word.

 

I crave a closer spiritual connection with my fellow believers.

 

I crave a tighter walk with God.

 

 

#31days2022

Crave – 10-6-22- 31 Days of Writing about Writing

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Other

 

 

Here are other awesome people I have written with, brainstormed with, that I know from workshops, writing groups, conferences and through the newspaper. This is NOT a complete list of OTHER WRITERS.

 

I met Larry Zimmerman at a writers group a few years ago. His new book is Becca’s Place - Becca's Place - Kindle edition by Zimmerman,Larry. Religion & Spirituality Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

And the local paper did a story about the release - Mansfieldretired podiatrist puts pen to paper after retirement(mansfieldnewsjournal.com)

Noel Lizotte attended my first workshops and has been next to me during all my writing endeavors. Her cookbook is a mainstay in my kitchen. It leaves room for expand my collection of recipes Her recipes are easy to follow. Her website also updates new recipes she finds and tests - Apron FreeCooking – Everyday Food | Everyday People | Extraordinary Flavor

Her book is available on Amazon. She has expanded her publications to cooking for pets, journals, wine lists, and other fun things. Here’s her author link and you can see all the cool stuff she does - Amazon.com: Noel Lizotte: Books, Biography, Blog, Audiobooks, Kindle

She also creates teas and other natural based goodies for the home, Noel’s Botanicals. https://www.noelsbotanicals.com/

 

I met Sandy Wickersham-McWhorter at a local writing workshop given by local writers for local writers. Her newest book is Cottonwood Place - Cottonwood Place: Softcover : Pelican Book Group Christian Fiction, Illuminating fiction

 

Deborah Simmons was kind enough to write the forward of my first published book (now out of print). She’s popular with our local library patrons. Her newest book is The Gentleman Thief - Deborah Simmons - NOW AVAILABLE

 

E.L. Mendell has been a published author for years and also runs Snow Dragon Publishing. Her just-released book About the Black Clouds is available on Amazon - About the Black Clouds, book 3: The Tale of Many Worlds - Kindle edition by Mendell, E. L. . Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

E.L has a blog as well – Alone and Awesome - https://aloneandawesomeblog.wordpress.com/

 

I met Tim Vargo at another local writers group. He was instrumental at leading me to a wonderful grade-school workshop opportunity. I was also honored to write a story for the newspaper on his first published novel, Unbound -  Unbound:A Tale of Temptation and Terror: Vargo, Tim: 9781930008045: Amazon.com: Books

You can find him on LinkedIn - Tim Vargo - Editor - The Ohio StateUniversity | LinkedIn

His newest book is available on Amazon - Ava the Hunted (A Legends of Ava Novel Book 2) - Kindle edition by Adrienn, Jules. Children Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

 

I’ve known Dwayne Castle for a while and I’m not sure how me met, but we crossed paths a lot. Then he started a writing group (later killed by covid) at our local library and I was introduced to his business and his book.  His writings deal with relationally driven business and it’s all about connections. His website - FREE PARENTS GUIDE TO WORKFORCE READINESS (relationallydriven.com) – helps people understand how business and people cannot be separated.

If you are in the Galion, Ohio, area he has an event coming up November 2 - Marketplace Ministry Workshop (relationallydriven.com) – his book, the Relationally Driven Approach, is available on Amazon - TheRelationally Driven Approach (The Relationally Driven Series): Castle, Dwayne:9781980214397: Amazon.com: Books

 

Marissa Baker has helped me focus my work and crystalize my message. She worked with me on my most recent book and her suggestions were priceless. On her website she discusses faith, life and other interesting things.  https://likeananchor.com/ - She has also written some interesting books - https://likeananchor.com/e-books/  

 

These is not counting the bunch of writers I have met through the newspaper – Jon Kleinknecht, Cinthia Shroyer, Ronda Wagner, Alex Vance, Matt Echelberry, Sarah Einselen and more.  Then there are a bunch of other writers that have encouraged me and cheered me on and continue their art and still encourage me: VV, Katie, Doug, Wayne, Ted, Paul, Joan (RIP), Suzanne, Carol, Evelyn, and more.  

 

And of course all the awesome, encouraging writers at FiveMinuteFriday!

 

I know for a fact I missed some people. Please let me know and I will create a new updated blog post. You guys are awesome!

 

#31days2022

October 5 – OTHER – 31 Days of Writing about Writing

 

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The Porch - available in paperback and Kindle

 So happy my copies arrived!

My new novel, The Porch, is available. 

Thank you Snow Dragon Publishing for working with me!

Thank you Emerald Bee Creations for the wonderful cover and inside art!

-

In my novel a lost young outsider is adopted into a strange new family and is pulled into the family’s biggest battle to protect home, land, and identity. 

https://www.amazon.com/Porch-Rachel-Hope-Turany-Mendell-ebook/dp/B0B88PYJMB/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3U3OKCJANK5W9&keywords=The+Porch+by+Rachel+Hope+Turany+Mendell&qid=1660856818&sprefix=the+porch+by+rachel+hope+turany+mendel%2Caps%2C912&sr=8-1

Everyone

 

Jesus died for everyone. Everyone has a soul. Everyone is tempted to be his or her own god, to worship and make feel great all the time …

Jesus calls everyone at some point in their life.

Everyone experiences pain and trouble and wants to escape that.

Everyone needs a Savior.

Everyone needs Jesus.

I Must Have Purpose

Thanks to Free-Photos via Pixabay

What is my purpose?

To live without purpose is to die.

I must have a purpose for doing a thing or it becomes a useless task, worse than a drudgery, wasted effort, meaningless.

And I can’t live in a state of meaninglessness – it makes me physically sick, exhausted, depressed.

So, in all my efforts that I must do I look for meaning. Purpose. Reality. Identity.

Like climbing a mountain so I can see clearly the view from the top.

Because reality is where I am on solid ground, where I anchor … my strength.

But if that anchor shifts or my solid ground quakes and crumbles, my reality disappears. I lose myself. Then I must go through the pain of searching and grasping for yet another reality.

When Jesus is my purpose, I am finished searching. If I feel my strength give way or my reality fading, I know my feet are in the wrong place. They are not on the Solid Rock. They have somehow slipped off. I look for Him and find Him and gain strength, peace, purpose.

Jesus is my Reality.

Jesus is my Purpose.

I can see my life from the top.

That boyfriend in high school was never my strength. That career was never my identity. That house was never my purpose.

Ever since I gave my life to Him it has always been

Jesus.

 

FMF

Read other thoughtful offerings at FMF Writing Prompt Link-up :: Purpose - Five Minute Friday

The Drive to ...

The Drive to ...

Win

Excel

Challenge myself

Work hard

Pay off debt

Communicate with family and those friends far away

get closer to my Jesus, reading the Word, praying for others, chewing on those hard passages

write

exercise

relax

get a project finished

sew

paint

draw

crochet

take photos

create something new from something old

teach my children

organize

toss trash

give away those things I no longer need

save money

prepare for emergencies

take care of myself

take care of others

encourage my coworkers, my aging mother, my husband, my children

encourage my fellow writers

 

Write on, my friends, write on!

It doesn’t matter WHAT you are writing, but that you are putting words down, getting the flow from your brain to your hands, watching the black on white appear creating a pattern, a poetry, a new living thing that just might speak to another’s soul.

 

The Drive to Write.

Church

 

Church is people

Church is friends that say “hi” and give a hug

Church is singing and playing together

Church is sharing troubles, joys, grief, and pain

Church is worshipping together, even while sitting next to that person who sings off-key

Church is listening to the minister remind us of our salvation, our hope, our sin, our responsibilities to our family, our responsibilities to our government, our responsibilities to our God

Church is messy

Church hurts

Church is not an option, but a commandment from our Heavenly Leader

Church teaches children to walk the narrow path

Church binds us, strengthens us, challenges us, gives us unspeakable joy, gives us tremendous pain, binds our wounds, forgives us, holds us accountable, holds us close, reminds us of the future celebration, remembers us, serves us, offers opportunities and teaches us to serve others

Church is hard, always changing, growing, stretching

Church is the best challenge a human being will ever sign up for

Church is you

Church is me

~

Come join the fun!

https://fiveminutefriday.com/2020/09/17/fmf-writing-prompt-link-up-church/?fbclid=IwAR2269JMdR-PHhFQuru_dwdp8cPLVeCepmF2RsQZrj_dccOhuMOuwjtQwmA

Garden Thoughts

It's easier to pull weeds in the rain. The ground is soft and the roots give way. So it is with God's Word. It waters our hearts and softens them so the weeds of sin can be pulled, roots and all.