Like

 

Phoenix, AZ

Like an eagle

Like every other person in the world

Like Bogie and Bacall

Like a chicken with its head cut off

Like a bat out of H E double toothpicks

Like, that’s what he said

Like sands through an hourglass

 

 

I like fried fish.

I like turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, and gravy.

I like my family around me laughing and enjoying each other’s company.

I like getting mail.

I like good book reviews on Amazon.

I like a good book that doesn’t preach at me.

I like the desert.

I like trips to Amish Country.

I like getting presents.

I like giving presents even more.

 

 

I want to be like those writers that crank out a book every year on subject they feel passionate about.

I want to be like the consistent novelist that publish every few years.

I want people to read and like my book. If that’s not possible I want people to read my book.

I want people to like me. (sometimes that’s a problem)

I want to be like my husband, willing to help people out, stable and dependable, fun to be around, having a sense of humor, being likeable.

I want to be like Jesus.

Join us at Five Minute Friday.

LIKE – 11-24-22 – FMF

Testimony

 

 

I am going to give you my testimony, or at least part of it. My testimony is a series of refreshings, recommittings, refocusings.

I was raised Christian, but also raised in a classic household. I was trained to speak clearly, play the piano, have fun when the work was done and believe that I would achieve greatness.

Events in my life stand out – most of them because of some negative emotion like shame, fear, terror, anger, betrayal, pain, failure.

I don’t need to share these unless it is directly related to my testimony. This is a skeleton of a memoir.

At seven years old I was embarrassed by an adult. No physical harm came to me, but the event stands out as a curse in my mind. I was a thing to be loved through no fault of my own and a husband was already chosen for me (I thought in my seven-year-old brain). I spent most of the rest of my life working, immaturely, against that curse to the hurt of everyone around me.

But Jesus was with me. I prayed to Him all the time. He protected me.

When I was 12, I promised to follow Jesus for the rest of my life, even if I must give up my life for Him. I spoke it out in public as loud as I could muster. I was stunned when my confirmation mates were not as assured as I was – the beginning of faith-pride.

I was good at school. I did sports. I took advanced classes. I pleased everyone. I took failure very hard. I met people who had a closer relationship to Jesus than I did, and it scared me. I tried to take up the challenge to be as good, if not better, than they, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t understand then that faith-pride is not faith and there can be no competition in following Jesus.

I lived a double life. I tested life and all the things there were to do while holding on to Jesus and saying all the right things.

But Jesus protected me.

I graduated from the right college, worked as a teacher just as I was expected to, had a horrible year (my year in hell) where I got hit with severe anxiety, got severely disciplined on behaviors that were not as they should be given my position and finally gave up. I quit almost all the expectations but one which I clung to.

I got married and found great freedom. My husband was very forgiving and didn’t judge me for being horrible at housekeeping (cooking, paying bills, cleaning, etc.) This was a blessed environment where I could explore things I hadn’t had time for and spread my crazy creations all over the house.

We moved residences with the birth of each child for various reasons and through this chaotic craziness I learned to depend on Jesus for my every day. He blessed me with calm.

But the competitive Christian part of me, that expectation to be perfect, that faith-pride continued to follow me and, I’m sorry to say, I passed it on to my children.

But Jesus protected us.

Over the years I gave up the expectations of my youth. God showed me how I raised my children was different from the world around me because my children were unique. God showed me there were other ways to learn about Him, ways I could explore on my own without the permission of someone in charge.

Through a long series of unfortunate events I left the church we were attending and found a new, non-denominational, Spirit-led church. I was not allowed to serve there. This was humiliating. I was angry. I poured myself into the job I had outside the home. Then I poured myself into two jobs. My marriage and my family and life were completely out of whack.

But Jesus protected us.

I was sick, but functional. I quit my full-time job. Then I quit my part time job. I started healing.

Then my life exploded. But God blessed me with a counselor, a lady who trained me in prayer war.

At that time most of my children were out of the house. One of our daughters suggested a new church and we attended the Saturday night services. We did double for a while, attending my daughter’s church on Saturdays and going to the church where I could not serve on Sundays.

Soon I desperately needed the Saturday services to survive the Sunday services. Something wasn’t right. The explosion was over, and things were back to normal, or so I thought.

The explosion had subsided in our lives, but not in the lives of those who caused the explosion. Confusion, hurt, and lies swirled around me.

Then we got kicked out of our Sunday church.

But Jesus protected us.

And there was peace.

At our new church I was given permission to heal. There were no guilt trips to give or to serve or to act the right way. In fact, all around me were believers who had gone through similar circumstances. I had found the hospital I needed.

Thank you, Jesus, I was home.

I attended church sometimes twice each week. I joined classes. I tried activities. And over and over again I was humbled, gently, lovingly, just like God deals with us. This was a unique church, Spirit-filled, accepting, respecting me for where I had come, honoring my desire to let God tell me my next steps, my next calling, my next job.

Then I got baptized (Matthew 3:13-4:1). I was the oldest one that day and no one cared. No one judged. Just respect, honor, and love … and understanding about the road ahead. Jesus had told me I would be led into the wilderness, and I was. A series of events and disappointments followed. I tracked the days in my baptism journal. I knew it was a special training. God showed me the sins of my past and how He had healed each one. He showed me sins I had committed years ago that needed repentance, and I did. It was 40 days of Holy Spirit School.

 

Jesus gave me peace.

I continue to try things and fail. I also try things and succeed. I got sick again and am healing.

I’m on the journey of being healed of my faith-pride. It’s like I’m a new believer learning to walk.

This time I know I’m weak and it’s okay. I’m walking in the power of Jesus.

 

Testimony – 10-21-22 – 31 Days of Writing About Writing

Lack

 

 

You shall lack nothing

Psalm 34:10 – The young lions do lack and suffer hunger; But they who seek the LORD shall not be in want of any good thing.

In Jesus I lack nothing

Luke 22:35 – And He said to them, “When I sent you out without money belt and bag and sandals, you did not lack anything, did you?” They said, “No, nothing.”

James 1:4 – And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

 

By myself I lack everything

Self-discipline

Joy

Peace

Patience

Love

Direction

Food, money, water, provision

Job, purpose, life

 

The thing I need is Jesus. I need to trust Him to do it all, lead me, protect me, make provision for me, love me through my trials. Jesus comes first, then everything else.

 

I lack nothing if I

 

Trust

 

Lack – 10-20-22 – 31 Days of Writing About Writing

photo info - Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/josepons28-5483923/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=2485915">Jose Aitor Pons Buigues</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com//?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=2485915">Pixabay</a>

 

Always

 

In my life there is no such thing as “always”… except for God.

 

“I will always love you,” said in the moment of high emotion seldom plays out that way.

 

“I will always work for you” is replaced with “I just can’t work here anymore.”

 

“I always do it that way” really means “I like doing it that way when it is possible for me (or when I feel like it) (or I’m saying it because I want to be better than you).”

 

I think always stems from trying to be God.

 

God is the only one who can do always.

 

There is an element of eternity in the word always. Matthew 28:20 – “… teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

 

But we are commanded many “always” commands.

 

I’ve tried doing always on my own. Always faithful. Always available. Always present. Always on time. Always happy.

It’s exhausting.

 

But if I let Jesus have me my seldom becomes always in Him. He grows me and I can do better because of Him, not because I tried harder or sharpened my skill or worked out a million hours this year.

 

Always becomes mine in Jesus.

Always – 10-19-22 – 31 Days of Writing About Writing

Photo info - Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/rewind-872039/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=2871630">rewind</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com//?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=2871630">Pixabay</a>

Comfort

I find comfort in –  

 

My morning coffee

There’s something comforting about a morning cup of coffee. It tastes better than any other cup of coffee of the day. I take my time and enjoy the moments before it grows cold, before I must leave the house, before the responsibilities of the day pull me away from that comfort.

 

My notebooks

I love coming to my desk and opening my journaling notebook or my Bible study notebook. I know what’s there and I know there are words inside me to fill the pages. It’s just me and my notebook. No one here to judge me.

 

A well-running car

After many break-downs of many cars that were faithful and were trying to be faithful, driving a car with no problems is a comfort … no … a luxury.

 

A pillow

My son didn’t have a favorite blanket when he was little. He had a pillow. It went with him everywhere. Fortunately, it was washable. I love my pillow too.

 

A blanket

Several of my children claimed a favorite blanket, a security while traveling in the van, a necessity at bedtime. They were well-worn and washed often. Recently, I found some worn, white blankets like the ones they layered on me at the hospital. I bought three.

 

A chair

I had a favorite chair that fit me well. I used it for years and loved its comfort. A mouse crawled up inside of it and died. The odor would not be removed. Now I have a new favorite chair that fits me well. It is a comfort to ease into it after being on my feet for a long time.

 

A bed after a long trip

The four-day trip from my mother’s home was difficult. There were long drives and few breaks. There was just enough room for me and my fellow travelers to nap in the comfortable truck, but beds are preferable. Hotel beds are sometimes nice, but we were pushing to make it home. The last leg of the trip we drove through without stopping for the night. After everyone was dropped off, only the essentials were unloaded from the truck before I was reunited with my bed. That feeling of finally relaxing, letting the rest of the world wait, sinking into the mattress and closing my eyes. I love my bed after a long trip.

 

The comfort of a good friend

She listened to me and didn’t interrupt. She didn’t judge or reword my sentences. She asked me questions and helped me clarify my issues. She suggested things to try, ways to pray, boundaries to set, practices to begin, journaling to practice, passages to read. She comforted me and strengthened me. She showed me how to gather that same comfort from God.

 

The comfort of the gospel

The gospel is simple and highly complex, a child can understand and a mystery to many. Jesus came and lived the life we should have lived, loved us even when we were unlovable, sacrificed His needs and finally His life. He rose from the dead, conquering all sin and even death. He showed us how it’s supposed to be done. He told us we can do the same, but only in His strength. Getting strength from Him is a daily practice He Himself teaches me. Let go, He says, I’ll tell you what to do next. Don’t worry about anything. I’ll be there. I’ll guide you through.

He teaches me how to follow the law like He did. He teaches me how to love the unlovable, the smelly, the sandpaper people, the ugly, the hateful, the annoying, the forever-victims. He warns me when things are approaching that I shouldn’t get involved in. He tells me when to walk away. He gives me strength to do the jobs He gives me. He gently guides me through my day. He listens when I worry. He gives me courage when I am afraid. He comforts me when I am mourning. He will show me how to die when the time comes. And He himself will raise me at the end of time. Jesus comforts me.

 

The comfort of heaven

Things get bad down here on earth sometimes. When it’s overwhelming, I think about heaven. I don’t know much about what it will be like, but after a life walking with Jesus I trust His good judgement. I will have everything I need (like I do now), I will see friends and rejoice (like I do now), and I will praise Him with the saints (like I do now) – except it will be without pain, mourning, tears, limitations, and sin.

 

What a comfort!

Comfort – 10-15-22 – 31 Days of Writing about Writing

Photo info - Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/congerdesign-509903/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=1113160">congerdesign</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com//?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=1113160">Pixabay</a>